Alien conspiracy?

Mark Your Time, Hu-Mans! by Iowahawk (HT:CG)

Mark your time! Behold the current heat readings of your atmosphere, which have now reached less than negative 40 in your Earth-degrees. Phase I of the Kremulakian conquest of your filthy pitiful orb is complete!... ...In Phase II you will turn over your delicious Earth-dollars to the Kremulakian Carbon Revenue Service. In Phase III, our tractor beams will relocate your planet to a more pleasing solar distance. In Phase IV, colonization and spawning.

Sometimes (well, often actually) I get the feeling Waxman's elevator hasn't gone to the top in some time. Has the guy stepped outside recently?